Theosophy Aardvark :- Mrs Trellis of North Wales.

THEOSOPHY

AARDVARK

No Aardvarks were harmed in

the preparation of this Website

Mrs Trellis of North Wales

I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue

The Antidote to Panel Games

Return to Homepage

Who is Mrs Trellis of North Wales?

Mrs Trellis of North Wales is the weird eccentric lady who writes every week to Humphrey Lyttelton, the Chairman of Radio 4’s comedy panel game “I’m sorry, I haven’t a clue”.

This is a very popular programme with Theosophists. The show is introduced as "The Antidote to Panel Games" and consists of a panel of four comedians, split into two teams and "given silly things to do" by a chairman. The programme was first aired on April 11^th 1972 and the signature tune is a cabaret version of Deutschland Uber Alles called "The Schickel Shamble" written by Ron Goodwin.

You can catch this show and Mrs Trellis of North Wales regularly on BBC Radio 4 and the World Service. Some old episodes are run on BBC 7 (Digital Radio). The show tours the country and you may be able to get in as part of the studio audience.

I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue Comes to Cardiff

21^st December 1998 and begins with the customary

letter from Mrs Trellis of North Wales

Mrs Trellis’s Letters

Mrs Trellis’s incoherent letters usually involve her mistaking Humphrey Lyttelton for another Radio 4 presenter or media personality, and are read out to much amusement. A modest web page, such as this, cannot even begin to convey just how funny these letters actually are when Humphrey Lyttelton reads them out but here are two examples anyway;

Dear Kenton,

I was appalled on tuning in this morning to hear a torrent of blatant filth, with terms such as 'Big Bang', 'Large Firm Success', 'Satisfying Performance', and worst of all, 'Job Blows'. It was the most disgusting edition of the Today programme's Business Report ever!

Yours faithfully,

Mrs. Trellis

_______________________

Dear Mr Manilow,

I have so much been enjoying your cookery show. I have to say it's been years since I last came upon a spotted dick. Your bread-making recipes have been particularly helpful during the BBQ season - I have been getting my baps out at every opportunity.

Yours et cetera,
Mrs Trellis.

PS: love to everyone at BBC Devon.

There are more examples at

Mrs. Trellis@Everything2.com

Does Mrs Trellis of North Wales actually exist?

Opinion amongst Theosophists is divided but the majority have concluded that she must be a real person. After all, who else is writing all these ridiculous letters? She also has her own website http://www.mrs-trellis.co.uk/ and anything on the internet must be true.

If Mrs Trellis of North Wales really exists, then this begs another question, does she realize the enormous laughs prompted by her letters? Is She doing it deliberately? Does she even listen to the programme? Does she have a radio?

Mrs Trellis’s first name is Ivy and it has been suggested that she may be a member of an extremist gardening group who worship Percy Thrower (an Ascended Master of Gardening) as a Deity.

An alternative theory is that Mrs Trellis of North Wales is actually a panel of experts on Nuclear Fission, who are communicating their ideas with similar experts worldwide by means of coded messages hidden in Mrs Trellis’s letters. This is similar to way in which coded messages about the Stock Market are concealed in the Shipping Forecast or the Eurovision Song Contest gives signals to start revolutions.

A yet more avant-garde theory suggests that Humphrey Lyttelton writes the letters himself. No, that can’t be right.

___________________________

Here’s another essential website for fans of the Mrs Trellis of North Wales phenomenon;

British In America: MRS TRELLIS of North Wales

Here's a nice site, devoted to the mysterious and

barking-mad Mrs Trellis of North Wales who

does nothing but write strange letters

and emails to Humphrey

http://british-in-america.blogspot.com/2005/12/mrs-trellis-of-north-wales-play.html

This webpage links Mrs Trellis of North Wales to a Welsh version of the Mornington Crescent game played on I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue

Mrs Ivy Trellis

Mornington Crescent Reverse Welsh Rules Only Please

_______________________

Here below is the entry in the Encyclopaedia Morningtonia for Mrs Trellis of North Wales which reports that she is a legendary player of the Mornington Crescent game. The entry covers her achievements in playing Mornington Crescent and her contribution to the development of the game

Encyclopaedia Morningtonia: Trellis, Mrs.Trellis

Mrs. Trellis is a dear, frail, somewhat doddery old woman from North Wales who writes incessantly to Sir Humphrey Lyttleton on the I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue programme. It would surprise anyone who does not know the history of the game to realise that she has also been perhaps the greatest MC player in history - the only other players of whom this could be said are Cripplehead and Hugo: she never met Hugo in competition, and Cripplehead only once, in an exhibition match - which she lost by a very narrow margin. Given Cripplehead's dislike of tournament play, it is possible to speculate that the result might have been different had they met in a championship match.

Since her victory in the first post-WWII championship, she has won the World Championship a record 17 times (most recently in 1984), on twelve occasions winning a complete Grand Slam of the Singles, Pairs, Team and All-In titles. She has also won countless other international and national championships: all this despite the fact that, every so often, she would take a year or two away from competition play, to take up a role in administration of the game.

Until recently, she has made comebacks to competitive play every time: but her most recent retirement seems to be permanent. She is now highly active in the IMCS, and is believed to have largely co-written the legendary Chalk Farm '84 rules - the only known ruleset (until Holland Park 2000) to have been accepted by both CAMREC and the IMCS. Chalk Farm '84 was published shortly after her last championship win.

She remains a great proponent of Mornington Crescent, and is said by most to be one of the forces behind modern play. She contributes to countless funds, schemes and rule revision committees to further the Mornington Crescent cause.

Also the inventor of countless manoeuvres and gambits, including the Trellis Power Shunt, the Trellis Quadrating Strile and the Trellis Neasden Pincer, she is still a formidable player in her own right, despite a blind spot in recent years regarding the cross-hatching of Theydon Bois.

The fact that she still officially holds the current ranking of #1 in the Grandmaster tables - despite her age and actual retirement from playing in ranking tournaments - is, to a certain extent, indicative of the awe in which most players hold her, at least on the field. Nobody else is likely to be accorded the honorific of the #1 ranking until

(a) they stand out far above the rest, and

(b) Mrs Trellis is long dead, or beaten in a one-on-one match … until then, #2 seems to be the limit that any modern Grandmaster can aim for.

Mrs Trellis has also made a profound contribution to the theory of Mornington Crescent, having even collaborated with Grossman on quantum token dynamics amongst other work. Truly, she is a titan of the Game.

Encyclopaedia Morningtonia

Essential reading for fans of Mornington Crescent. The big names and history and development of the game.

North Wales Chapter of the

Mornington Crescent Psychic Insomniacs

_____________________________

Here is the Mornington Crescent Theosophy Website

The Mornington Crescent

Underground Theosophy Website

The Earth Base for Evolutionary Theosophy

Worldwide, London & UK Theosophy Links.

London Directories & London Blog Links. London Bookshops

Info for Fans of BBC Radio 4’s I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue

http://www.blavatskycalling.smartemail.co.uk/morningtoncrescenthomepage.htm

If Mrs Trellis of North Wales actually exists,

Then a Mr Trellis (possibly of North Wales)

must also exist or have existed at some time

_______________________

Mrs Trellis of North Wales

and the Darth Vader Connection

Legends of the Anglesey Jedi

Darth Vader and Jedi Knights fight it out in North Wales

Awesome tales from the Anglesey Jedi Church

with plans to establish a colony on the Moon

and an attack on two Anglesey Jedi Knights

by a man posing as Darth Vader. Plus a reaction

by a not pleased Anglesey resident who doesn’t

have a very high opinion of the Jedi Church.

It is almost impossible to believe that Mrs Trellis of North Wales doesn’t have something to do with this. Is it just a coincidence that inter-galactic warfare has brought the most evil man in the universe to Anglesey or are more sinister forces at work.

Darth Vader is known to be a big fan of “I’m Sorry I haven’t a Clue” and the early broadcasts from 1972 have penetrated the remoter parts of our Galaxy. Possibly Mrs Trellis of North Wales has used her letters to somehow alert Darth to the presence of Jedi Knights on Anglesey and offered to put him up while he continues the inter-galactic war.

Return to Homepage

_____________________

THEOSOPHY

AARDVARK

For more info on Theosophy

Try these

Dave’s Streetwise Theosophy Boards

The Theosophy Website that

Welcomes Absolute Beginners

If you run a Theosophy Group,

Please feel free to use any of the

material on this Website